The story of the painting "Eva-Brazil"

 

First we go back a decade for this back in time. I was always drawing, creating as a child and when 16 dad asks: "What you are going to become?" I replied: "I want to be a drawing teacher" he said: " nah no good, no money in this. Better find a profession that makes you capable of making your own money, so you not have to depend on a husband" (very modern and this from a very traditional family man).

So I choose physical therapy. No other reasons than that it was sport related, that I could travel to America with this profession plus it didn't require maths and science. 

So I became a physio. A good student. Did it in 4 years. Cum laude. At one of my first jobs I worked in a practice where they had Art in each treatment room. One day, whilst working, I saw myself reflected in the glass frame of the painting and in a flash I thought: I'm on the wrong side. I need to be at the side of the Art. 

It was clear. 

I had to choose and sacrifice. 

Dad offered me that time the grocery shop in Haarlem, the Netherlands, plus two houses connected in tip top shape, and a car. In the connected house was a small beautiful restaurated (by dad) shop and I could have my practice as well. All so good hearted and well planned by dad who knew the cunning world and took care. 

However....I told him thank you but Im soon graduated physio. I broke his heart. 

But I had to go my own way.

I sold my - just new - self worked for - costume made sinker surfboard and my sails (I was semi professional and could have made a living with surf competitions all over the world). 

Then graduated and worked short term as a temp, for a physiotherapy practitioner who had a holiday and received good money for this.

And went to France for grape picking after the book from the writer: A. den Doolaard, "de druiven plukkers". 

 

I landed in south of France near Lyon. At a very traditional winery. The crew was half French half Dutch. I worked with the Dutch and we had conversations like: "what you REALLY want to do with your life?" I said: "Art" the guy ( Pieter his name) said: " go DO IT" I agreed of course.

I went after this grape picking (which was an amazing experience) with my earned money to Pisa, Florence and Corsica (another life-changing book) and then to Amsterdam to create a portfolio for the Academy of Arts. 

Because of my physical therapy diploma I was over-qualified so that was okay. 

I went to musea's, streets, forests to draw, painted and got a pile. I remember that after "the surrender to Art call" so to speak I dreamed in colours, every night colours only ...sort of abstract paintings.

 

Then I found announcements for 2 workshops in the van Gogh museum. The Museum had it's atelier at the basement that time (later they made a souvenir shop from this space).

I applied and got a postcard -his own Art- card from the artist Nicolas Dings in my mailbox that I could do the both workshops.

(See attachment)

The workshops were led by esteemed artists Nicolas Dings and Janneke Tangelder. 

I emerged. 

First workshop week was teaching us mixed media and pigments; making one's own pallet paint. 

Second week we had a model. Eva. From Brazil. Very beautiful and super relaxed model. 

Drawings with charcoal. Ink. Later my own mixed paint. The painting itself went very quick. As in a trance. 

 

Having physio as a base is a good base for model painting because I have a deep knowledge of muscles and the whole. I was during the exam anatomy amongst the ones with the highest marks. This because I had studied all the muscles by making drawings and had made my own anatomy book. 

We went also with our physio school several times to the mortuary where you see the muscles in real. I'm sure that painters in the past went through such procedures to understand the body. 

To get profound understanding of anatomy.

 

The painting ' Eva-Brazil' I want to sell to you after keeping it for 30+ years - is the painting that Acknowledged me in to the Art world.

Through this painting I became an artist. Before going to art school.

 

 I got into the HKU Autonomous Art elected amongst 20 other students from over 500 applicants. That was after. 

To hear I was admitted to the HKU Autonomous Art department was extatic for me. 

 

But now just a skip back to the moment I became an artist. 

This is how it went. The moment that made me change identity from wanting to be in art - to be an Artist:

At the end of this last week, when the model painting workshop at the van Gogh museum atelier was finished, we sat down with the whole group had a wine and listened to a talk by our teacher artist Nicolas Dings. 

After the 'thank you's and great you were all attending', he held up one of my black and white ink drawings of the model (attachment) and said: "ladies and gentlemen this is a nice drawing"...and then he held out my

painting Eva-Brazil and stated: 

"and this is Art".

 

 

That was like a bomb for me. 

Then after I was already an artist I applied for the HKU ( Hoge School voor de Kunsten Utrecht,) department: Autonomous Arts

When I heard I was admitted as a student in the department Autonomous Art, I was so extremely happy. I cannot explain this feeling. 

So I became a full time student in HKU - Utrecht and living in Amsterdam I travelled by train daily, with pleasure.

 The years that followed were happy years. Being amongst the students who were into the same dimension, was a paradise.

The first two years The school offers all Art forms. Drawing, sculpture wood, metal, mixed media, painting, photography, graphic (lino, etching, printing), experiment, ceramic, computer.

I was like a sponge. I was here to learn all ready, no boundaries. Already a diploma. I was so free. I was relaxed and, unlike many of my fellow students, had no fear for the teachers. 

Just learn something from them. Their point of few. I loved my work and whatever they said. But most teachers loved and understood my work. The only problem I had was with the dogmatic painting teacher who allowed us no freedom.

 

My family thought I was crazy to leave a well paying profession and so many opportunities to go into a poverty existance.

I had no insecurities. Money was not my objective. I did what I loved and felt freedom. 

I also loved the 2 hours a week of Art history and Art Culture by mr. Guus Rekers. Speaking about so many things in life and telling tales of the Bhagavad-gītā and so much more. Wisdom, wisdom thank you.

The second year of HKU, Mr. Rekers introduced me to ms. Anne de Vilder, choreographer of performance art. I was asked to be part of the collective and we were a happy family. We made two pieces with music of Jacques Brel and they were shown to the school and for outside public as well.

The third year I was admitted to go on, and the procedure is that the students have an atelier. This meant as well that the students had to choose a discipline. Only one. Painter, sculpturer or graphic designer. This was and is not how I see Art. 

For me, Autonomous Art is the ultimate freedom. I was into sculpture, mixed media, collage, performance, poetry, photography, installation, conceptual, graphic, mono prints especially and ...

Noone else could - can tell me how I should be. What to make. When, how, etc. 

 My big inspirator Pablo Picasso was into many Art forms. And show it is possible to work in more than one Art discipline.

I was deep in perfomance and there would be no space for this. 

I left the Art school.

I never wanted to make a living from my art. I had the feeling it would corrupt. I didn't need their diploma.

 

So I went in search of other work

Outside life was going to be the performance I decided. 

Direct after leaving the HKU I took my Cannon AE1 to Lissabon and made social photography in black and white. I developed photos too myself.

I was into social black and white photography. My inspiration was a book that I had from a photographer who did black and white photography in New York and photo series of people in their houses in one street. 

Life was never the same

 First years worked as waitress for Tempo team agency in all the Amsterdam 5 *hotels. I got married and 5 years later divorced and I became a single mother. Poverty, loneliness and sadness were my years. An apartment of 30 square meters without garden nor balcony, 3 rd floor. A nobody. When one has money one can maintain a social life. The only thing that kept me going was that I knew my Art. It gave me purpose, identity and pride. 

I never ceased with Art. There was always something going on inside. 

 

Together with my daughter I came back into Graphic art. Mono printing. And because I am a Superfood fan I had access to plant pigments. Yellow: curcuma. Brown: cacao. Green: spirulina. Purple: bramble berry. 

A few series I made you can see at my website. https://www.niwa-lifestyle.com/autonomous-art-ni-wa

 

Catalunya 

A time hectic time came when we were moving. We had reasons. 

In the beginning I was not able to see anything beautiful because stress. However in Nature everything is Art and finally I feel space.

 Nowadays I am into ceramics (busts), collage, land art, haute couture hand made bags.

 

I sold one time a work. It was the drawing that Nicolas Dings said to the group: ,"this is a nice drawing". (See attachment).

 

I had in total 2 exhibitions. 

The last was in Amsterdam, more than 20 years ago. Reason was that this cafe had such wonderful walls. 

Here I had conceptual art going on - in the fact that I asked very high amounts for my work. 

I know the value of my work. I don't care if not sell but I would care if I sell it for an amateur price. 

So I never went chasing galleries, making name or whatsoever.

I always felt it would corrupt. 

Now I think it is not a he case. I'm strong enough I know I'm authentic. The years prove this to oneself. 

How much I needed money in many cases I always stayed true. So not buyable 

 

Recently I found that I had an old account of Etsy.

And had made photos at my mum's house of Eva-Brazil where stored. So I thought let me see what happens if I 

 put Eva-Brazil for the max amount (2.500 EU) they give free space at Etsy. Just to see. 

 I wanted to see money because 30 plus years in poverty is something. 

Next day I had a reaction. She (woman from Belgium) was not at all interested in the artist. And she wanted to purchase for 2000.  

I told her that this work is very valuable and I had it 26 years ago priced for 80.000 She argued that she pay the transport costs. 

 

Something clicked in me.. and I felt no good to sell it for this low price. I knew it would give me many sleepless nights.

My mother said but it serious money. And I said no mum in the Art world this is not serious money, I'm not selling it this individual who just collect but don't care from who. 

 

Real Art is very valuable, I know the landscape. And to demand discount is an insult for the dedicated artist. It's pain work from a living person an artist who paid in blood sweat tears many poverty years, sacrifice my whole life, my family fortune, my family life as well and she wanted discount...

I told her no deal for you and the price is now 250.000, the real value 

 

That's for what it is on the market